I want to write but I also want to save the world. Which to
do? One takes time from the other. Maybe I should double-up—is there a way to
use my writing to help save the world?
What does it mean to save the world? There was a time when I defined my life purpose as “restoring the Garden of Eden on Earth”—i.e., repairing the ecology of the planet while simultaneously nurturing the spiritual souls of its human inhabitants.
A rather ambitious life purpose, I suppose, but working for an environmental organization and teaching yoga gave me avenues for pursuing both intentions.
Nowadays I still want to heal the planet and support the
spiritual development of its people, but I no longer think it’s entirely up to
me. Instead, I recognize that the responsibility is shared with millions of activists,
spiritual teachers, and servant leaders worldwide.
Since the 2016 election, my sense of personal responsibility
for preventing political and ecological disaster has been heightened. Simultaneously,
my feelings of despair about the possibility of ever turning things around have
deepened.
I ask myself: what is the best place for me to be of
service? And how does writing fit into this?
My creative compositions have often focused on the save the
people side of the life purpose—and I do believe that helping humans to be more
mindful, kind, and aware will also help the planet. But that’s a slow process
and we are running out of time, given the urgency of climate change and other
dramatic challenges facing the world.
Then again, I only have to do my part. What’s that quote by philosopher
and theologian Harold Thurman Whitman that I used to keep next to my desk?
“Don’t ask yourself
what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do
it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
Okay, so it comes down to giving myself permission to follow
my heart and write—but without feeling guilty that I’m not at that moment getting
out the vote, marching in the streets, committing civil disobedience, or calling
my members of Congress. Of course, I should be doing all of those things—while
also writing. It’s an issue of balance, as these things often are.
Is my angst about writing versus activism just another form
of procrastination—another way of keeping myself from creating with words and
sentences? A way to elevate procrastination to an exalted state of piety by
saying I can’t write because I need to be saving the world?
Where did this dilemma come from, and why do I see it as an
either-or choice? Perhaps because I feel that in order to write, it must serve
the intention of rescuing the world. Anything less would be frivolous.
Oh, no—frivolity! John Calvin would have a fit to think that
I am entertaining the possibility of being frivolous. Work, work, work. Save
not only my own soul, but the souls of everyone else on the planet. At this
late stage in my life I’m still listening to the Calvin tapes in my head and
allowing them to ruin all my fun.
So maybe I should think of writing as an act of rebellion
against my Presbyterian upbringing. Would that make it any easier, or would the
notion of rebellion just feed into more guilt?
Round and round and round I go. The merry-go-round dilemma. If
I write (especially something frivolous), I’m abnegating my responsibility to
do everything I possibly can for social justice, democracy, human rights,
ecological health, world peace, averting climate disaster, and a myriad of
other causes.
Back in the day when we were defending against Reagan and
the nuclear arms race, a friend said to me:
“Act as if it all
depends on me; pray as if it all depends on God.”
Now with climate disasters dominating headlines, another
friend said:
“Maybe it’s time for
us all to just drop everything—everything!—to focus entirely on reversing
global warming.”
These comments are music to the Calvinist running my brain.
But how do they resolve the dilemma—to write or to drop everything in order to
restore the Garden of Eden on earth? To do both with a sense of urgency….? To
devote my writing to a call to arms for saving the earth and our souls?
Then again, maybe this is just an issue of time management.