Grappling with a question; turning it over in my mind. Then a small airplane flies overhead — an opportunity to remember my mom, who was a WASP (Women Airforce Service Pilots) during World War II and an Alaskan bush pilot after the war.
What would Doris say in answer to the question?
When wrestling with a problem or life challenge, we all need someone to talk to–someone whose advice we respect.
In my case, Mom fills the bill. She was a careful listener and could tell what was right and compassionate and true. So I sometimes ask her (in my imagination) how she would handle a certain situation or problem. Usually a clear answer pops into my head, and I am grateful.
After she died, I found myself being more attentive to small aircraft because they drew me into a moment of remembering her. I’ve also noticed that they often show up at a time when I need to be reminded of Mom’s wisdom. Go figure.
Who is your “Doris”– the person who represents a gold standard of values and rightness for you? Just putting yourself in the mindset of how that person would advise you is a way of promoting ease.
Special note: This technique is not the same as being concerned about what other people think about you. In that case, you are measuring yourself against some standard of comparison or competition that may be more about seeking approval than wisdom.
Try this: Frame a question and pose it to your “adviser,” then be aware of what emerges in your intuition or thinking or feeling. If that person is alive and available, you certainly could have the conversation in person, but it may not even be necessary.
To your ease!
Pat Daniel, Ph.D.